WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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