I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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