hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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