It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize