My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
