At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
