Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
