ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
