I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My pussy is not your playground.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
