come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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