It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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