4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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