i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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