Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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