I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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