just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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