Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
