Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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