good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
