If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
