I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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