plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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