Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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