i just wanna soil my oats bro
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
