yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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