he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
