once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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