You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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