I hope mine doesn't look like that
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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