you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
