I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
