I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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