Having a random hookup so left but love u
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love accidental penises.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
