If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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