Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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