If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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