Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
