there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm always down for nudity.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
