i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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