Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
