I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
