my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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