What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
