Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize