shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
