I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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