In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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