Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
