sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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