Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize