No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
