Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
