so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
