Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize