Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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