There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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