I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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