I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
