I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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