Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
